Building Community

Building community is a deeply relational process, one that begins with the act of listening. Deep listening is a practice that goes beyond simply hearing words; it is the conscious effort to be fully present with others, recognizing their unique desires, needs, and experiences. This act of attentiveness allows for true connection and, ultimately, the creation of communities where each individual is valued, celebrated, and supported.

However, deep listening is not only about listening to others—it also requires us to listen to ourselves. As we engage with the world around us, it is equally essential to tune into our own desires, values, and boundaries. Only by cultivating this inner listening can we show up authentically in our relationships and contribute to the health of our communities. When we listen to ourselves, we align our actions and interactions with our personal truths, creating a foundation of integrity and authenticity within the collective.

The practice of circling and authentic relating are powerful tools that can strengthen our deep listening skills, both to ourselves and to others. Circling, a practice of group dialogue where participants take turns sharing and listening with full presence, offers a structured space for listening without judgment or interruption. This practice not only enhances our ability to listen deeply to others but also invites us to listen more carefully to our own responses, thoughts, and desires as they arise in real-time.

Authentic relating, similarly, encourages open, honest communication in relationships, creating an environment where everyone’s voice is heard and respected. By engaging in these practices, we cultivate the skill of being present—both for ourselves and for the people around us. As we listen, we create a space where connection can flourish, free from the constraints of societal norms or expectations.

Communities built on deep listening are rooted in mutual respect and support. By listening attentively to each person's unique desires and honoring those desires without judgment, we empower individuals to grow and express themselves fully. When these communities also support individuals in upholding and pursuing their own values, they create an ecosystem where people can thrive both individually and collectively.

Deep listening, then, is not merely the first step in building community; it is an ongoing practice that strengthens the connections between us, allowing communities to flourish and evolve in meaningful ways. It is through listening—both to others and to ourselves—that we can craft spaces where everyone is invited to belong and grow.

If you’d like to practice your listening skills in community, come to one of my Infinite Mirror events or join the Peer Group.